The Foundational Attitudes of Mindfulness
If you’re looking for a helpful framework to ground your practice, I recommend checking out the foundational attitudes of mindfulness by Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Non-judging
Judgment. If really we pay attention to our thoughts, judgment is more or less constant. We judge ourselves. We judge others. We judge the current moment. Is it good enough? Do we just want it to be over? There are many forms of judgment. And it’s not like we can flip a switch and stop judgment altogether. But with practice, maybe we can become more aware of these thoughts, and act with more empathy and compassion towards both ourselves and others. By being aware, and knowing that there is much we do not know, we can accept the moment as it is, without judgment.
Patience
It might go without saying that meditation requires patience. How else can one expect to sit quietly with their thoughts for prolonged periods of time? But patience extends beyond meditation. Whatever it may be, we so often live life trying to get to the next moment. The next event, the next milestone. We’re just “trying to get through the day”.
But maybe, with a little patience, we can begin to see each moment for what it is. This moment is perfect. So is this one.
It takes patience to focus on the task at hand, whatever it may be. But it’s a worthwhile exercise.
Beginner’s mind
This attitude resonated with me today. Feeling like we’re “making progress” in meditation, like we’re getting somewhere, is perhaps a sign of losing touch with beginner’s mind.
Some schools of Zen might refer to this concept as “don’t know mind”.
We don’t know anything. We can meditate for years, practice mindfulness for a lifetime, but at the end of the day, what we know truly pales in comparison to what we don’t know.
Keeping the mind of a beginner means opening ourselves up to each moment as it comes, with no expectations. Each moment is truly a new beginning. We may feel like we’ve seen and done it all before. And yet, as hard as it is to grasp, we have never experienced this moment before. And we will never experience it again.
Trust
Trust is an interesting concept as it relates to mindfulness.
Can we trust ourselves? Can we trust our intuition? Can we trust that each moment unfolds exactly as it should?
In one sense, maybe I’m learning that I don’t always have to trust my thoughts. After all, they’re just thoughts. Not facts. We don’t own them. We can be aware of them, but we don’t control them.
I trust that with awareness, I can learn to be more present in just this moment. And then I’ll have to begin again.
Non-striving
Non-striving doesn’t come naturally to most Westerners.
It can be tempting to think of meditation the way you would any other practice. When you spend hours practicing a musical instrument, or playing a sport, or studying an academic subject, you’re hoping to become better. You might even put in enough time and effort to become ‘world class’ at an endeavor.
But there is no “world class” in meditation. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. If you believe in enlightenment, or the stages of Nirvana, there are certainly those that have made their way further down the path than others.
But still, there is only this moment. Sure, mindfulness takes effort, and patience, and dedication. And over time, we might start to feel more aware, or more present. We might even start to see the distinction between self and object dissolve overtime.
But even so, this moment is all there is. It’s everything. There is nothing to strive for because you are already here.
This is not to say we can’t work hard towards our goals. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. By bringing awareness to the present moment, we can develop the wisdom to act on what’s truly important. Whether that’s in work, or relationships, or practicing a skill or hobby, by understanding that this moment is all there is, we can devote our full attention to the task at hand.
Easier said than done, but it’s the work of a lifetime.
Acceptance
Along with non-striving, acceptance can be easily misunderstood.
To me, acceptance does not mean living passively. It doesn’t mean we lie down and accept our lot in life without working hard, or trying to make things better. It doesn’t mean we can’t stand up for what we believe in.
Rather, acceptance means bringing awareness to how things are. This moment exists exactly how it exists. If we accept how things are, we can then move forward and act with clarity.
It’s true we can’t change the past, and there is only so much we can control in the future. Acceptance might help us to know the difference.
If we’re sick, acceptance doesn’t mean we don’t do what’s necessary, within our means, to feel better. It means we accept the present moment and act accordingly.
If we’re angry, acceptance doesn’t mean we bottle those feelings up and ignore them. It might mean bringing awareness towards that anger, acting with clarity to find an acceptable resolution. Or, it might mean bringing awareness to the fact that there is no immediate resolution, and letting it go.
Letting go
If attachment is the root of suffering, then letting go is one of the antidotes.
But like acceptance, letting go does not mean passivity. It doesn’t mean we avoid difficult things, or difficult thoughts or emotions. However, it might mean we are not attached to a certain outcome, or thought, or feeling.
Thoughts come, but we do not have to cling to them. We can let them go.
If we exist in this moment, with awareness, doing our best to simply be, we can let go of attachment to a particular outcome.
As the saying goes, if we put in the work, the results will take care of themselves. That’s essentially what letting go means to me. It doesn’t mean aversion, or disassociation. Rather, it means letting go of the way we think things ought to be, and seeing each moment for the way it is.